Rites of Spring

Walked to the local store today. Oh, my aching right hip and left knee. I wasnt kidding when I told Sis that working on the hospital/nursing home floor 12 hours a day would lead to a knee or hip replacement quickly. Anyway we saw springtime things. Hopcopters. Actually maple seeds. You know...if you throw them in the air they will twirl down like a helicoptor blade. I used to like to do that as a kid. Now he knows too. We saw half a robin's egg-which was a robin's egg blue. He didn't pick it up and get grossed out with the eggy stuff dried on it like I used to. No-he was content to just see it. He stopped me to look up in a tree. He told me that once there was a big bird up in it. Just checking it out to see what was hanging up there today I guess. We bought stamps and ham and milk duds. Other things-but those are the highlights. We went to the 'pizza place' so he could put his quarters in the baseball gum/rubber ball baseball game machine. It was all good. Last night I went to Preston's to return some money. Clark was delightful. He got a new tricycle and made it go. He loves nursery rhymes and makes dioramas of them with available resources. His Mom draws them on his legs-I approve. How fortunate to have such a great family.
I am starting to believe that I can and will make my living with my Etsy store. Seeing a glimpse of vision. I believe.

Incredible

That is how I feel about being alive. One of those times when the veil is a little thinner and mundane thoughts get blown away like grey clouds before a clear cool wind. Peace. Awareness. Joy. Amazement. Gratitude. Love. Sometimes I feel excited about death. Not in a morbid black way-but in a curious, excited -cant wait for Christmas morning to get here way. Near death experiences describe it as wondrous, light-filled, hope to shout. That's eternity. We dont have the words to describe it or the faculties to imagine it Jesus says. Be kind, help others, experience the profound glad hope here. Have great expectations.

Beautiful Spring

My Mom was telling me that people were worried that we would go directly from winter to summer. I feel like saying 'open your eyes peeps-it's here!' Right now-this minute. NOW. It may not last a long time. But if it is now, right this minute-then it lasts forever. All we have is now. Kim and Dan bought flowers and plants and worked in the yard 3 days straight. Cindy and Steve have planted their spring garden, dredged out their pond and a 100 things besides. Dogwoods are purple, magnolia blooms have blossomed, Butch has mowed Mom's yard. Katie is wearing shorts. It's spring. April and May fly by just like October and November. Temperate and beautiful.

I am resisting going back to work as a nurse. This week I went to the hospital with my Mother for her cataract surgery. Watching the nurses work. So many opportunities for oops. Oops are bad. Making a mistake with a patient's health is never trivial. Could be deadly. I feel scared to go back.

I was gone for 2 full days at Mom's so this morning I got up at 7am-excited to work on my shop Gamut. I had a pretty quiet couple of weeks-the first 2 weeks of April. I also had been stuck at 77 hearts for awhile and it has popped up to 92. This last few days have been lively-I sold 7ish things-or more. Fun. It paid off most of my March Etsy bill and I bought some coral, tangerine, salmon, raspberry czech beads-wonderful hot spicy colors for summer. I am craving them. I saw a picture of these paint colors in a magazine in the waiting room and I ripped it out.

So this morning I made and placed 4 new necklaces. Popping in some pictures of what I have made recently.

It's Been A Quiet Week In Eudora, My Home Town...

We are big fans of Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion. At least if we are in the car. We never think to turn it on in the house. The same for Click and Clack The Tap It brothers. Wouldn't miss it-if I am in the car. The only time a radio is on in the house is if there is a ballgame Butch can't get on TV-used to be home games for the kids if they were playing away from home and we couldn't go. When I was a girl I listened to the radio constantly and my Mom would yell 'turn it down!' (1), 'TURN IT DOWN! (2), 'TURN THE #%#* OFF!) (3). Click-it's off. The Mama-she was formidable. Love her still. Anyway-it seems like it was a quiet week in my little town. In retrospect it really wasn't. Easter weekend? A major holiday and a pleasant one to boot. Maybe quiet means ok, pleasant-happy. Not anxious, not stressed. I didn't get the job at the library-the 'Friend's Coordinator'. Wasn't even interviewed for it. Bruce-the Library Director was however prompt, friendly and courteous. A little of that goes a long long way. Something Nurses forget and don't get sometimes. The library has a new position open-a part-time page. Same job I did in High School. Wouldn't mind doing now at all-but I passed the tip onto my 23 year old son who is looking for work. Hope he gets it. Met with a Home Health Company Thursday night who is sending out feelers in this area. Met with one of the recruiters. Got a free large pizza. Cool. Will get my license up and running and apply Monday.
I truly respect Nursing. I plan to keep up with my shop Gamut. I love it. Easter was good. Went to church and sat with my Mom, Lauridsens, Dan and Kim and Kids, Katie. Bill did a great job. Had a fun supper at Montney's with a egg hunt, dog, swing set, good company and food. The kids got together later to play WOW. They had fun. Dan's move to evenings has gone smoothly. Ella has adjusted well. No one is sick. We are safe and dry and fed and warm. It was a quiet week.

Seasons and Cycles

Imbolc. Brigid. Candlemas. St. Patrick's Day. Spring. Vernal Equinox. Ostara. Passover. Easter. May Day. Beltane. Summer. Litha. At least for the Northern half of the globe. And that always makes me feel topsy-turvey. If I flew to Rio or Sydney, not only would I have jet lag because of the time differences, I would have season lag. It is just so weird. Opposites. Matter. Is there a place in me, in my soul, where the observer is that none of this matters? (weird here too-the word matters-matters in the world, time, material world). Yin Yang-until there is a whole. North goes this way, south goes that a way. Two opposite vortexes to keep us balanced. Here it is day-there it is night, here it is spring, there it is fall. Does it take away from my springishness if half the world's is feeling fallishness? And then there is the equater. Sheesh. The cycles are pulled tight, small and fast. Or cooler still-eternal summer that last for thousands of years until major long shifts create a winter there beyond our time and knowledge. The Divine, my Beloved. If the world is creation-does matter matter? Is the Earth important-or is it merely a stage as Shakesphere said. To play out our lives on, a chalkboard for our lessons. Are cycles a contrivance-or are they vitally important? Goes to the body-our nature, the physical-the web of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. If I am cut-do I not bleed? Of course. Do I bleed emotionally? Yes. Do I bleed spiritually via physical wounds? Yes. Am I smart enough to figure this all out? Laughing. In my soul is eternity, before, after, now. Beyond cycles, seasons, duality. Whole.

The Love Quilt

I dreamed last night about embroidery. What is it about spring that makes me want to sew. I even woke up after the dream, still half asleep and placed the exact embroidery project was under my worktable, not 10 feet from me. My craft year has it's cycles. About September it is time to pull out the knitting needles. Once spring hits I cannot bear to knit. The sewing machine runs hot between April-August. Mostly in the way of piecing quilts. I used to handquilt too. I have made about 6+ large handquilted quilts. I quilt very very slow....its alot of time invested. I live in a teeny weeny town in Kansas but it has a charming active quilt shop with an innovative creative great machine quilter. I just haven't taken the time to get it together and take a top down there. I think the reason I also slowed way down on the quilting process is that I owe my Mom a handquilted top that she pieced out of 2" squares. Tough to quilt. I have 2 other tops finished and two more in the works. I love them all. The last 6-8 years I have collected mostly Kaffe Fassett fabrics. Hot hot spice colors. Makes me dream of India. Shah Rukh Khan (all sigh). Meow. My worktable is 100% Etsy jewelry work-I am going to rework the work space. Wish me luck! Speaking of quilts and sewing. This is the 20th Anniversary of the Love Quilt. My daughter Anna died in 1988 and we moved to Colorado 2 days later. I started a year-long 'learn to quilt' class in 1989 and finished the 'Love quilt' in 1990. It is starting to show some wear and tear. Just like it should from being 'loved'.

Spring Colds

Woke up with a scratchy throat, chest congestion, layers and layers of crud. Drank hot water out of the bathroom tap to help the drainage process. Drank some coffee and ate some pretzels. Checked my Etsy shop and then fell back into a deep dream-filled sleep. Fatigued. Katie had 'bad' allergies last week. So-have to wonder if this is allergy symptoms or a viral cold. I think the later. Usually my allergies are active in the winter-I am a Winter allergy sufferer. I should make a button. I watched 'Julie & Julia' last night. Of course I loved it. But I agreed with Julia-I would not want my personal sex life as content on a blog. I also thought to myself 'I am so glad I started a blog before I saw this.' I blog. I am a blogger. I am a writer. My school culture fostered writers. Didn't all of us have to write papers and essays constantly? Reading and writing-don't they go hand and hand? Is there a reader who is not also a writer and vice versa? I have always kept a journal-the last 7-10 years they are more like a amalgam of 'blog-scrapbook-journal' I am not immune to the cultural trends. One big universal organism. But I do know that 15 years as a nurse changed the way I write. To the point. Just the facts mam. Short and sweet. No long run on and on flowery sentences leading you down the path to some artistic expression of the heart and soul... Nope. The wound is x by x with blah blah blah. This is by neccessity a new chapter in my life. I hope HOPE I like it. Hope is my new discovery.